Ponieważ nie umiem sam się uzewnętrzniać postanowiłem przytoczyć fragmenty utworów które najlepiej odzwierciedlają to jak się teraz czuję.
Przy Okazji jest to także forma przekazania kilu przemyśleń w kierunku paru osób.

Puddle Of Mud - She Hates Me

Met a girl
Thought she was grand
Fell in love
Found out first hand
Went well for a week or two
Then it all came unglued

In a trap
Trap I can't grip
Never thought I'd be the one who'd slip
Then I started to realize
I was living one big lie

She was queen for about an hour
After that, her shit got sour
She took all I ever had
No sign of guilt
No feeling of bad, no

That's my story
As you see
Learned my lesson
And so did she
Now it's over
And I'm glad
Cuz I'm a fool for all I said

She fuckin' hates me
Trust
She fuckin' hates me
La la la love
I tried too hard
And she tore my feelings like I had none
And ripped them away

30 Seconds To Mars - Capricorn

I will disappear
I told you once and I'll say it again
I want my message read clear
I'll show you the way, the way I'm going

I was almost there
Just a moment away from becoming unclear
Ever get the feeling you're gone

So I run and hide and tear myself apart
I'll start again with a brand new name
And eyes that see into infinity

30 Seconds To Mars - Edge Of The Earth

You wanna be the one in control
You wanna be the one who's alive
You wanna be the one who gets old
It's not a matter of luck, it's just a matter of time

Stand out on the edge of the earth
Dive into the center of fate
Walk right in the sight of a gun
Look into the new future's face

30 Seconds To Mars - I'll Attack

I won’t suffer, be broken
Get tired, or wasted
Surrender to nothing
I'll give up what I
Started
And stop this
From end to beginning
A new day is coming
And I am finally free

I would’ve kept you forever
But we had to sever
It ended for both of us
Faster than a...
kill off this thinking
It’s starting to sink in
I’m losing control now
But without you I can finally see

Ah-Ha - Forever Not Yours

Hold me tight
This is a lonely night
And I've hurt you baby
Because you are my light
Make me strong
Just like you make me weak
When your hands reach out for me
Even in your sleep

Memories they keep coming through
The good ones hurt more
Than the bad ones do
The days were high
And the nights were deep
And I miss you baby
I miss you baby

I'll soon be gone now
Forever not yours
It won't be long now
Forever not yours

Alce Cooper - Poison

Your cruel - device
Your blood - like ice
One look could kill
My pain, your thrill
I want to love you but I better not Touch
I want to hold you but my senses Tell me to stop
I want to kiss you but I want it too Much
I want to taste you but your lips Are venomous poison
Youre poison running through my Veins
Youre poison, I dont want to Break these chains

Blink-182 - Dumpweed

But this I ask, it's what I wanna know
How would you feel, if I should choose to go
Another guy, you think it'd be unlikely
Another guy, you think he'd want to fite me

I heard it once, I'm sure I heard it twice
My dad used to give me all of his advice
He would say you got to turn your back and run now
Come on son, you haven't got a chance now

She's a dove, She's a !@#$en nightmare
Unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here
On the go and it's way too late to play
I need a girl that I can train

Evanescence - My Immortal

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

Goo Goo Dolls - Naked

Yeah I'm fadin'
And I call out
No one hears me
Never been, never felt, never thought I'd say a word

You're naked inside your fear
You can't take back all those tears
The shots in the dark from emptied guns
Are never heard by anyone
Never heard by anyone

Yeah I'm hiding
In the fallout
Now I'm wasted
They don't need me, don't want me, don't hear a word I say

Inside your head
No one's there
And I don't think I'll ever be
And I don't care

Green Day - Green Day - Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Green Day - Wake Me Up When September Ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
seven years has gone so fast
here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are
as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
Wake Me Up When September Ends

HIM - Join Me

We are so young
Our lives have just begun
but already we're considering
escape from this world

and we've waited for so long
for this moment to come
we're so anxious to be together
together in death

This world is a cruel place
and we're here only to lose
so before life tears us apart let
death bless me with you

Linkin Park - Crawling

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming/confusing
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending
Controlling/I can't seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take
I've felt this way before
So insecure
Discomfort,endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting/reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem...

Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

Linkin park - Faint

I am a little bit of loneliness a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints but I can?t help the fact that everyone can see these scars
I am what I want you to want what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe this is real
So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got

I am a little bit insecure a little unconfident
Cause you don't understand I do what I can but sometimes I don't make sense
I am what you never wanna say but I've never had a doubt
It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear me out
So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I've got

I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored

No!
Hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me, like it or not
Right now

Linkin park - Numb

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Every step that I take is another mistake to you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Linkin Park - One Step Closer

I cannot take this anymore
Saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
You'll find that out anyway

I find the answers aren't so clear
Wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Nothing seems to go away
Over and over again

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
I'm about to break

Linkin Park - Point Of Authority

Forfeit the game
Before somebody else
Takes you out of the frame
Puts your name to shame
Cover up your face
You can't run the race
The pace is too fast
You just won't last

You love the way I look at you
While taking pleasure in the awful things you put me through
You take away if I give in
My life
My pride is broken

You love the things I say I'll do
The way I hurt myself again just to get back at you
You take away when I give in
My life
My pride is broken

You like to think you're never wrong
You have to act like you're someone
You want someone to hurt like you
You want to share what you have been through

Linkin park - Somewhere I Belong

When this began
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
I was confused
And I let it all out to find
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind
Inside of me
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
Nothing to lose
Just stuck/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
I was confused
Looking everywhere only to find
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
So what am I
What do I have but negativity
'Cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me
Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
Erase all the pain till it's gone
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

N Sync - It's Gonna Be Me

You might've been hurt, babe
That ain't no lie
You've seen them all come and go
I remember you told, me
That it made you believe in
No man, no cry
Maybe that's why

Every little thing I do
Never seems enough for you
You don't wanna lose it again
But I'm not like them
Baby, when you finally
Get to love somebody
Guess what, it's gonna be me

You've got no choice, babe
But to move on,and you know
There ain't no time to waste,
You're just
Too blind, to see
But in the end you know it's gonna be me
You can't deny
So just tell me why

Every little thing I do
Never seems enough for you
You don't wanna lose it again
But I'm not like them
Baby, when you finally
Get to love somebody
Guess what, it's gonna be me

Offspring - Feelings

Feelings
Nothing more than feelings
Trying to forget my
Feelings of hate

Imagine
Beating on your face
Trying to forget my
Feelings of hate

Feelings
For all my life i'll feel it
I wish I'd never met you
You'll make me sick again

Feelings, oh feelings
Of hate on my mind

Feelings
Feelings like I never liked you
Feelings like I want to kill you
Live in my heart

Feelings
Feelings like I wanna deck you
Feelings like I've gotta get you
Out of my life

Feelings, oh feelings
The hate's in my eyes

Feelings, oh feelings
You're not very nice

Offspring - have You Ever

Have you ever walked through a room
And it was more like the room passed around you
Like there was a leash around your neck that pulled you through

Have you ever been at someplace
Recognizing everybody's face
Until you realized that there was no one there you knew
Well I know

Some days, my soul's confined and out of mind
Sleep forever
Some days, I'm so outshined and out of time
Have you ever

Have you ever buried your face in your hands
Cause no one around you understands
Or has the slightest idea what it is that makes you be

Have you ever felt like there was more
Like someone else was keeping score
And what could make you whole was simply out of reach
Well I know

Someday I'll try again and not pretend
This time forever
Someday I'll get it straight but not today
Have you ever
Some days, my soul's confined and out of mind
Sleep forever
Some days, my darkest friend is me again
Have you ever
Someday I'll try again and not pretend
This time forever
Someday I'll get it straight but not today
Have you ever


So if you walk away
Who is gonna stay
Cause I'd like to think the world is a better place

When the truth walks away
Everybody stays
Cause the truth about the world is that crime does pay

So if you walk away
Who is gonna stay
Cause I'd like to think the world is a better place
I'd like to leave the world as a better place

Offspring - Lightning Rod

I am waiting
On a mountaintop
For the moment that the sky will strike
My apologies
Are forever lost
Soon to ashes in a flash of light

Miles from away from me
Hope is fading soon
Gone forever it's a waste of time
My intentions
Like a sweeter room
Only bring to me a fading light

Offspring - Race Against Myself

(I realize)
All I want
All I need
Always lies just out of reach
I've been coming up empty

(I realize)
I ran as fast as I can run
I pushed as hard as anyone
But still there's nothing for me

(I realize)
Burning out, strung along
Now my sorrow is my song
My whole world is half-hearted

(I realize)
For my pain I have none
After all is said and done
Now I'm back where I started

(And I want)
I've tried as hard as I can
(And I need)
I've taken all I can stand
(And I fall)
But I am loosing a race
Against myself

Offspring - Self Esteem

I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say
But she came over I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her dessert
Oh I know I'm being used
That's okay man cause I like the abuse
Oh I know she's playing with me
That's okay cause I've got no self esteem

I may be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb
I'm just a sucker with no self esteem

When she's saying, oh, that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying, oh, that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah

Offsrping - Want You Bad

If you could only read my mind
You would know that things between us Ain't right
I know your arms are open wide
But you're a little on the straight side I can't lie

Rasmus - Guilty

I feel guilty
my words are empty
no signs to give you
i don't have the time for you

you say i'm heartless
and you say i don't care
i used to be there for you
and you've said i seem so dead, that i have changed
but so have you

i put a shield upon you
i didn't mean to hurt you
i would have only poisoned your mind
never meant to make you cry

you've been so thoughtless
i can see right through you
you used to be there for me
so don't you leave say goodbye
cause you have changed but so have i

i never thought that the time and the distance
between us made you so much colder
i'll carry the world on my shoulders

guilty
I feel so empty
empty
you know how to make me feel

System Of A Down - Chop Suey

I don't think you trust
In, my, self righteous suicide
I, cry, when angels deserve to die

Why have you forsaken me In your eyes?
forsaken me In your thoughts?
forsaken me In your heart?
forsaken me ...

Black Eyed Peas - Wheres The Love

Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love?

Vertical Horizon - Everything You Want

Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why

But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return

You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say

Out of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return

He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

Linkin park - In The End

(It starts with)
One thing / I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on / but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing / I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so far
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me

In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when

I tried so hard ...

Jeden Osiem L - Jak Zapomnieć

Znowu widzę ciebie przed swoimi oczami,
znowu zasnąć nie mogę, owładnięty marzeniami,
wszystko poświęcam myśli, że byłaś kiedyś blisko,
kiedy czułem ciebie obok wtedy czułem, że mam wszystko,
tyle zostało po mnie, tylko ty i setki wspomnień,
ile dałbym za to by móc o tym już zapomnieć,
teraz nie ma nas i nie chcę być tam gdzie ty jesteś,
znowu staniesz przede mną, zawsze robisz mi to we śnie,
będę patrzył jak odchodzisz, chociaż chciałbym się odwrocic,
będę myślał ile dałbym komuś, kto by czas zawrócił,
kto by zatrzymał wskazówki tylko na ten jeden moment
w chwili, w której cię poznałem, poszedłbym już w drugą stronę.

To był sen na jawie, gdy marzenia się speniały,
wszystko takie realne, chwile szybko tak mijały,
tylko my zamknięci w czterech ścianach,
a tak wolni, ważne ty byłaś obok, a ja czułem się spokojny,
pamiętasz jeszcze te dni, całe miesiące,
pamietasz? chcesz zapomnieć? ja nie mogę, wiem że błądzę,
aura zepsucia w powietrzu, tracisz te 50%, chcę zapomnieć o tobie,
zatrzeć w pamięci te noce, by odeszły w nie pamięć chwile,
które zwałem złotem, tamte chwile to tombak, bo już wiem co było potem

Moje myśli spiętrzone wokół jednej chwili,
kiedyś tak krótka potrafiła czas umilić,
teraz stojąc jakby obok wciąż się przyglądam,
już nie cieszy jak kiedyś, wspominam, myśle dokąd zdążam,
inne cele w życiu, inne plany i pragnienia,
muszę wszystko pozmieniać, tak jak czas wszystko zmienia,
to co było nie wróci, wiem choć czasem mam nadzieje,
po co mam więc pamiętać, ktoś by powiedział "stare dzieje"
wiem to, nie mogę zapomnieć jak było dobrze,
wiem to, skończyło się, mój własny pogrzeb,
wiem to, i proszę Boga: nigdy wiecej niech nie pozwoli na to,
by ktos trafil w moje serce

Ile dałbym by zapomnieć cię, wszystkie chwile te,
które są na nie, bo chcę nie myśleć o tym już,
zdmuchnąć wszystkie wspomnienia niczym zaległy kurz,
tak już po prostu nie pamiętać sytuacji,
w których serce klęka, wiem,
nie wyrwę się chociaż bardzo chcę, mam nadzieję że to wiesz i ty.

Crazy Town - Butterfly

I can feel too much is never enough
You're always there to lift me up
When these times get rough I was lost Now I'm found
Ever since you've been around
You're the women that I want
So yo, I'm putting it down.

I don't deserve you unless it's some kind of hidden message
to show me life is precious
Then I guess it's true
But to tell truth, I really never knew
T'll I met you... See I was lost and confused
Twisted and used up
Knew a better life existed but thought that I missed it

My lifestyle's wild I was living like a wild child
Trapped on a short leash paroled the police files
So yo. what' s happening now?
I see the sun breaking down into dark clouds
and a vision of you standing out in a crowd.

I used to think happy endings were only in the books I read but
you made me feel alive when I was almost dead

You filled that empty space with the love I used to chase
and as far as I can see it don't get better than this

So butterfly, here is a song and it's sealed with a kiss
and a thank you miss.

I co teraz ?